Why is it always so hard to tell the most important things? I mean.. why we can find thousand words to describe pointless things but when it comes to our family and people we care, why we say so rarely how much they mean to us and how much we care about them? Why do I fear so much to be honest with those so close to me? Why I cannot say out the words that are inside me - I know they are right and I know they all need to hear from time to time how much I treasure them around me. Why it always takes too long to realize it and most of the times, it is too late, when we realize that... How much courage and strength I need to overcome all the fears and finally say out the words hidden inside me..
As you probably get.. this is a personal piece.. Trying to put down emotions what I have had.. trying to find my courage and make out my mind with this piece.. I tried to portray the loneliness and coldness of autumn.. I mean.. here.. it is always rainy and always that kind of chilly in autumns. It's always windy and it feels so lonely.. so sad.. like everything around me knows there is winter coming.. But I do not know.. has it been me or.. I love autumn. I love the magic. I love the colors, even if they are here for few moments.. Like last year.. there was a moment when first snow came and all the trees were still on color.. and I sat on my 4th floor classroom, looked down to the park and forest we have near university and all those colorful trees, climbing the mountain.. slowly getting covered with snow.. It was so beautiful.. But here.. I tried to portray the opposite to that.. the dark and muddy weather.. rain.. cold.. and then the girl, so bright and warm.. to present her inner good, her good heart.. no matter how bad it is outside.. no matter how many bad things happen.. as long as you keep your inner light burning light and keep dreaming.. you can go on.. and you can find a miracle in front of your nose when you are not expecting it.. You find that the search you have had, has been pointless and the answer has been with you all those years but you were too blind to see because we always look in front of us, having our eyes fixed to the horizon, hoping to find out goal there.. but so seldom we look down or beside us and realize the person we need to support us has been with us all the way.. being here beside us.. But when you realize it.. how to say that.. how to finally say it out.. Find the words you need.. How many notes it takes to be scraped.. How many lonely hours and how many tears until we find the words we have been searching for so long..
And I have been trying to find the right words.. I am the person who always goes trough all the scenarios I can imagine before important things.. But I never imagined the outcome.. I mean.. it can be easy to figure the words out in your head.. but when the moment comes to use them.. it's sometimes courage that stops us.. Sometimes it is fear.. Sometimes you realize that moment that those words are not the one you needed to find. How hard can it be? Very hard...
And all things considered - it could have come out worse.mizzd-stock
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